All alone...

I believe in getting lost.

Several years ago, when I was seven or eight, I found myself in such a situation. Our family used to always travel in the summer to Arizona to visit our grandma on my mother's side. She lived in a large apartment building with two wings. Each wing must have been ten stories tall. She lived close to the top on the left wing. One day after grocery shopping, I ran ahead of my grandma in through the front doors. Apparently I didn't know her place quite like I imagined. I accidentally ventured into the right wing and went up the elevator on my own. Seeming to knwo where I was going, I went up to my "grandma's door" and knocked, knowing my mom was inside. When a complete stranger opened the door, I slowly came to the realization that this wasn't where I was supposed to be. Slowly beginning to panic, I walked up and down the hallway making sure I wasn't knocking at the wrong door. I knew I was on the right floor, but that was the end of my knowledge. Now scared, I began venturing up and down levels by way of the nearby stairwell. I noticed an elder couple who was also roaming the halls, possibly on a little walk. They obviously sensed my fear and asked if I was lost. I told them no. As time went by, I began to wonder whether or not I would ever find my way out. It was like a bad dream. But all of a sudden, as I rounded the corner on the stairs, I bumped right into my dad who was looking for me. It was such a relief. I'm sure I probably ended up crying a bit.

Today I don't have situations like these anymore. I definitely lose track of where I am, or stumble into a situation where I don't know the way out. But I definitely get lost, nonetheless. Coming to college, for example. Not knowing exactly what to do, how to fit in, what to bring. Essentially it is the same thing. I am venturing out into the unknown. Whether or not it is against my own will is a question, but I definitely face the same situations today.

It gives you time to think, to examine, to wander. I think getting lost is the best way to solve problems. It is like going on a walk. You are alone and all you are able to do is think. There are no outside distractions. All you are able to do is walk and think, walk and think. Essentially, getting lost is a way to escape from the rush of the normal life and enter into the rush of a new situation. Whether or not it is enjoyable is variable. You can sucumb to fear or you can explore and adapt. It is like life, really.

I believe in getting lost.